101 Halloween Jokes

A skeleton joke
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
I love every bone in your body!

A werewolf joke
Why did the small werewolf bite the womans ankle?
Because he couldn’t reach any higher!

A werewolf joke
What happened when the werewolf chewed a bone for an hour?
When he got up he only had three legs!

A witch joke
What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema?
Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom!

A witch joke
What makes more noise than an angry witch?
Two angry witches!

A skeleton joke
Why don’t skeletons play music in church?
They have no organs!

A skeleton joke
Why wasn’t the naughty skeleton afraid of the police?
Because he knew they couldn’t pin anything on him!

A skeleton joke
How do skeletons get their mail?
By bony express!

A vampire joke
What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?
Coffin medicine!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?
It wanted to play squash!

A vampire joke
How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice?
They use extractor fangs!

A vampire joke
What do vampire footballers have at half times?
Blood oranges!

A ghost joke
Where do ghosts get an education?
High sghoul!

A ghost joke
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home!

A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

A cannibal joke
What do you call a massive witch doctor?
Mumbo jumbo!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire give up acting?
He couldn’t get his teeth into the part!

A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get up in the mornings?
Lazy bones!

A werewolf joke
Why are werewolvse thought of as quick witted?
Because they always give snappy answers!

A witch joke
How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?
By her suntan!

A werewolf joke
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!

A werewolf joke
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks!

A werewolf joke
How do you know if a werewolf’s been in the fridge?
The paw prints in the butter!

A skeleton joke
What do boney people use to get into their homes?
Skeleton keys!

A vampire joke
Why do vampires hate arguments?
Because they make themselves cross!

A vampire joke
Why was the young vampire a failure?
He fainted at the sight of blood!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire attack the clown?
He wanted the circus to be in his blood!

A vampire joke
What do you get if you cross Dracula and Al Capone?
A fangster!

A vampire joke
What happened to the mad vampire?
He went a little batty!

A demon joke
What is the best way to get rid of a demon?
Exorcise a lot!

A ghost joke
What kind of jewels to ghosts wear?
Tombstones!

A demon joke
Why do demons and ghouls get on so well?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

A vampire joke
Where do vampires go on holiday?
The Isle of Fright!

A vampire joke
What’s a vampire’s favourite soup?
Sharks’ fang soup!

A vampire joke
Which vampire ate the three bears porridge?
Ghouldilocks!