101 Halloween Jokes

A ghost joke
What do ghosts have in the seats of their cars?
Sheet belts!

A ghost joke
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!

A cannibal joke
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said ”So that I can feed my lads with m’lasses!

A cannibal joke
Why would the cannibal only eat babies?
He was on a diet!

A ghost joke
Where do ghosts go on holiday?
The Ghosta Brava!

A vampire joke
Why wouldn’t the vampire eat his soup?
It clotted!

A skeleton joke
Why did the skeleton run up a tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!

A vampire joke
Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He wanted his ghoulstones removed!

A ghost joke
Where do ghosts live?
In a terrortory!

A ghost joke
What is a ghost proof cycle?
One with no spooks in it!

A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost who stays out all night?
A fresh air freak!

A skeleton joke
What happened to the skeleton who was swallowed by a big fish?
He had a whale of a time!

A ghost joke
What do young ghouls write their homework in?
Exorcise books!

A ghost joke
What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over!

A vampire joke
What do romantic vampires do?
Neck!

A skeleton joke
What’s a skeleton’s favorite vegetable?
Marrow!

A skeleton joke
What did the old skeleton complain of?
Aching bones!

A vampire joke
What did Dracula say to his new apprentice?
We could do with some new blood around here!

A skeleton joke
What is a skeleton?
Somebody on a diet who forgot to say “when”!

A vampire joke
How does a vampire clean his house?
With a victim cleaner!

A vampire joke
What does a vampire say when you tell him a ghoul joke?
Ghoul blimey!

A ghost joke
How do undertakers speak?
Gravely!

A vampire joke
What do vampires think of blood transfusions?
Newfangled rubbish!

A ghost joke
What did the polite ghost say to her son?
Don’t spook until your spooken to!

A ghost joke
What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Ghoulash!

A cannibal joke
What happened if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water!

A cannibal joke
Why don’t cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis?
He gives them runs!

A ghost joke
What do ghouls do when they’re in hospital?
They talk about their apparitions!

A ghost joke
How did the ghost song and dance act make a living?
By appearing in television spooktaculars!

A ghost joke
What is a drunkards last drink?
His bier!

A cannibal joke
What did a cannibal’s parents say when she brought her boyfriend home?
”Lovely, dear, he looks good enough to eat!

A cannibal joke
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!

A ghost joke
What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?
A boo-loney sandwich!

A cannibal joke
What is a cannibal’s favourite food?
Baked beings!

A cannibal joke
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!